Reviving Your Marriage: The Power of Planning Time Away Together

We sit staring out the window, 13 floors above the hustle and bustle of the city. The iconic Washington, DC skyline out the window. What better place to tell you about one of the most valuable tools we have used to breathe energy into our marriage.

But first, a little background.

When Shannon and I got married, we both knew we would be busy in life. Shannon was a full-time RN working in home health care, and I was beginning life as a minister. Actually, I was working at a computer repair company while serving in my church. But that would change soon enough.

Our first year of marriage was a whirlwind.  We got married in March. We returned from our honeymoon to find that the church's pastor where I served was in the hospital, and I assumed the role while he was away. Five weeks later, we found out that Shannon was expecting, and she graduated from Bible College. Six months later, the pastor of our church resigned, and I became the new full-time pastor. Nine months and two weeks later, our son was born. Never were we more thankful for two weeks.

Man, I am tired of just retelling all that.

Here's the point of all that information. One of Shannon's fears in our marriage was that we would be so busy that we would not make time for ourselves. We had to be very intentional about carving out time for our relationship. From this intentionality grew the idea for this marriage energizing habit.

Let us introduce you to the idea of dating away.

Maybe you have heard of this, maybe not. When we first started practicing this habit, we did not even call it "dating away," but we did practice it. In fact, we still practice it; as I stated at the beginning, we are dating away right now. It is one of the most energizing habits in our marriage.

What is "dating away"? It's taking time to get away from the regular routines and stresses of life to focus solely on your marriage relationship.

Let's face it; life gets busy.  Our relationships can also suffer from the routines of life. Couples need to slow down and rest together.  We want to make this super simple.  Let us share with you what we do, and perhaps you can modify it as you see fit.

Schedule your "Date Away"

Consider scheduling a "date away" at least one time a year.  We have gone away around our wedding anniversary almost every year as long as we have been married.  So that's sometimes in March.  It is not always on the exact anniversary date, but it's always pretty close.  

It is important to note that this time of year works best in our schedule.  Your calendar may look a little different.  But what is important is to open up your schedule and put schedule your "date away." 

As an aside note, our family vacation and date away are scheduled before anything else.  That's how important they are for us.

So, step one - Schedule your date away!

Schedule your "Date Away" activities

Once you have committed to a time away with your spouse, it's time to plan your getaway.  This may look different for each couple, but remember that planning can lead to excitement.  It's hard to recount all the locations and events that we have enjoyed over the years.  Here are a few of the events we have experienced together

• A day trip for hiking and dinner

• Overnight stay only a few towns away

• A weekend trip to a popular location

• A trip to Orlando without the kids - Shannon's Favorite

• A trip to Israel (still without the kids) - Mike's Favorite

I think you get the picture.

In the planning phase, it's not just the activities that you may need to plan.  It will help if you think about all the logistics.  Mainly for us, that meant childcare.  We are thankful that most times, our parents were generous enough to watch our kids for us.  Our parents understood the value for us to get away.  And they loved time to spoil the grandkids.

Another essential factor that you must consider is your budget.  Dating Away can be expensive.  So make sure you keep your budget in mind when scheduling your activities.  There are always ways to stay within your budget; you need to practice some creativity.

Why is Dating Away so important?

We have seen the benefits of dating away in our marriage relationship.  Here are just a few benefits we have observed:

•  Refocuses us as a couple - Studies show that vacationing reduces stress and increases communication in couples. Time away allows you to focus on the priority of family. The cornerstone of the family is the marriage relationship.   

• Prioritizes our relationship - When you set a specific time each year in the calendar, it tells your spouse that "you are important to me".

• Discovers new things and enjoys life together - Vacations are fun. Don't be afraid to try new things together. Travel can spark romance in your relationship. 

• Grows our relationship - one of the activities we do when we go away around our anniversary is establish annual couple goals for the year. We take time for an honest evaluation of the past year and make 4-5 goals for the upcoming year.  

I don't know if you can tell this, but we are pretty passionate about Dating Away.  We believe that it is one of the main reasons why we enjoy an energize marriage.  And it's just fun!

We want to invite you into the conversation.  What resonated the most with you in this article?  Do you Date Away?  If so, share your ideas, locations, and activities in the comments section.  I am sure they will be beneficial to others.