Love in the Waiting Room: Staying Present When Life is Difficult.

Around three months ago, Shannon and I received difficult news. We’re no strangers to hardship—we’ve faced our share of challenges over the years—but through every high and low, one thing has remained constant: we’ve weathered them together.

Shannon went to the doctor for what she believed (and what we still believe) was shingles. But the doctor had a different opinion and ordered a battery of tests—just to be safe. One of those tests was an MRI of her head, in case the facial and scalp symptoms were linked to something more serious inside.

We weren’t worried—at least not until the doctor said something that made us pause. Then came the results. The MRI revealed something unexpected: a small tumor in the lining around Shannon’s brain.

In that moment, the mood shifted—from skeptical to serious. No one wants to hear this kind of news. But as a spouse, this is when some of our most important work begins.

So how do we support our spouses when the ground shifts under our feet? When fear creeps in and uncertainty looms? Here are a few things we’ve been learning in these early stages…

Maintaining Strong Connections

When hard news hits, it can be easy to retreat into our own heads — to process pain privately. But one of the most important things we’ve learned is that this is the time to lean in, not pull away. We’ve made it a point to talk openly, even when the conversations are heavy. We pray together. We cry together. And sometimes, we just sit together in the silence. Staying connected reminds us that we’re not alone in this, and that together is still our strongest place to stand.

A simple yet powerful way to stay connected during times like these is to create a daily check-in moment—just 10–15 minutes set aside to be fully present with each other. No distractions, no problem-solving—just asking, “How are you doing today? Really?”

Finding Strength in Encouragement

There are moments when fear tries to take the driver’s seat. That’s natural. But we’ve also learned that encouragement is not just a feeling—it’s a discipline. We remind ourselves of who God is, and what He’s already carried us through. We’ve surrounded ourselves with voices that speak life—Scripture, sermons, songs, and trusted friends. Shannon has been especially strong in holding onto faith, and that has encouraged me more than I can say. Hope isn’t just a distant wish; it’s the air we breathe when we remember God is still with us.

One of the most grounding things we’ve done in this season is pray—together and individually. Prayer doesn’t always change the situation immediately, but it does change us. It anchors us when emotions are high, calms our fears, and reminds us that we’re not walking this road alone.

Engage Actively in Your Care

It’s easy to feel helpless when you’re not the one going through the physical symptoms. But I’ve realized that presence is powerful. Whether it’s going to appointments, asking questions, advocating when needed, or just being there to hold her hand—I’ve learned that love often looks like showing up. Every day. In small ways. In unseen ways. Being involved reminds us that we’re still in this fight together.

One simple way to stay involved is to go with your spouse to medical appointments whenever possible—even just to sit in the waiting room.  It may seem small, but your presence speaks volumes. It shows your spouse they’re not alone in this, and it gives you a shared understanding of the journey. You’ll hear the same information, be able to ask questions, and offer support in real time.

We’re still in the early stages of this journey, and we don’t have all the answers. But if you’re walking through something similar—know this: you don’t have to be perfect to be present, and you don’t have to have all the answers to be a source of strength.