How to craft a more meaningful date...

Planning a meaningful date is a great way to energize a marriage relationship.  Many people think dating is just for those who are looking for a spouse, so once they got married they pushed dating to the side.  Others have been captured by routines that feel more like a rut than an adventure.  Meaningful dates are not impossible and can breathe life into any relationship.

I have been dating my wife for the past 25 years.   I often struggled to create just the right date.  Don’t get me wrong, I have plenty of ideas for dates, and there are many ways to find date ideas.  But, I don't want just another ideas for a great date, I want a date that will “wow" my wife.  That will prove to her that she is the most important part of my day.

One time, I was running behind on my planning and I sought out one of those "ready made dates" online.  Or at least that whats I call them.  What I didn’t realize is that those date online are often specific to locations, seasons,  or even couple preferences   I will spare you of all the specific calamities of the evening, but the end result was the same - I did not “wow” my wife.

So, from then on, I made it a point to make sure I was  more intentional about my dating planning.  Here are three i simple steps that helped improve my date planning ability. 

Know your “Why”!

The why of dating is essential.  Let me explain my why a little.  I continue to date my wife, because I want her to know that she is the most important part of my life.  I want to invest in my relationship.  She is my closest friend, and I find great pleasure in doing life with her.  In fact, I would rather do life with my wife than an other single person.  That’s my why of continuing to date my wife.

But, consider for a moment that each individual date has a why as well.  It may be that we need some time away.  That’s a different date than if I thought, we just need to have a good laugh.  Each date can have its own why that can be considered to be craft the perfect date.  You need to know you why.

Know your partner!

Not only do you need to know your “why", but you also need to know your partner.  Learning to know your partner is a big why at ever stage of the dating adventure.  And as you form greater depth in your relationship, you will be able to craft better dates.  

One of the questions I always ask when creating a date for my wife is will she like this.  Most of the time the answer should be yes.  Sometimes, I like to throw in something new, where the answer to the question may be, "I don't know", or “maybe.”  I don’t even attempt things where the answer would be no.  But again, most of the time the answer is…She is going to really enjoy this!

Plan accordingly!

Now it is time to plan.  I look for the right activity to accommodate my why and that my wife would enjoy.  I may plan a spa day if rest is most important.  I may plan a meal and a romanic comedy if laughter is needed.  A quick walk or an afternoon at the beach would be just right to have a great conversation.  I plan accordingly.

This is how I craft a memorable date.  How about you?  What step would you take to create a perfect date?