Become the Champion in Your Marriage

In our last post, we share with you the truth about blame in a relationship. In a nutshell, blame can drain your relationship of its energy and keep you from solving potential problems.

Of course, this thought came from two brothers' reactions to a single problem. One brother handled the situation with blame. That isn't a solution at all. The other brother resisted the urge to blame and instead became a champion for those involved.

The story that birthed these thoughts comes from Genesis 32. The two brothers are Moses and Aaron. Aaron blamed the people for making a molten image to worship, Genesis 32:22-24. He refused to take any responsibility and thus was unable to lead the people toward a solution.

On the other hand, Moses became a champion for the people, Genesis 32:11-14. He argued their case before God's wrath and ultimately led people to repentance and a renewed relationship with God.

In our relationship, blame hinders problem-solving ability, but this story offers some excellent advice for problem-solving.

Don't try to avoid the problem.

One of the main issues with blame is that it's a dodge. It is a way to avoid the problem. This behavior leads to a loss of agency that we spoke about last week. Instead of dodging, we must take ownership of the problem. You don't have to be responsible for the issue to work toward the solution.

Moses was not even around when the people crafted the molten image. But you know who was there?  You guessed it, Aaron.  His hands were all over the problem.  But that didn't stop Moses from becoming a part of the solution.

Don't try to avoid the problem; instead, jump in and start working on a solution.

Speak well of one another.

In our story, Moses begins to defend the people before God.  It seems strange.  God already knows all the things Moses says about the people.  Yet Moses becomes the champion of the people to God.  

Sometimes in the marriage relationship, when difficulties arise, we need to remember to speak well of our spouses, even if our spouse is at fault.  Speaking poorly of them by affixing blame will only strain an already tense situation.

Moses championed the people who were at fault.  He spoke of how special the people were to Him.  He spoke of the promises God made and even the glory that was yet to be revealed.  These are valuable ideas in any marriage relationship and will help us become champions in our relationship.

Take the matter to God.

It seems strange to mention this last.  It certainly isn't an afterthought.  In fact, in scripture, God is the one who informs Moses that there was something wrong.  God is aware of what is going on in the camp even though Moses did not. 

I know we don't have the same kind of conversations with God, but prayer is our way of engaging in conversation with God.  And there is no problem too small to bring to God.  Whatever the difficulty, we can engage in a conversation with God through prayer.  

We can ask for discernment as we define and describe the problem.  

We can ask for wisdom as we seek to find a solution

We can ask for forgiveness for the areas where we have fallen short.

I would love to tell you that I have always been the champion in my marriage.  But the truth is, I have chosen blame on a few occasions.  Not only was this hurtful to my spouse, but in the long run, it didn't solve the struggle.  Maybe that's why this passage stuck with me when I read it recently.  

I hope this devotional thought has been helpful to you too.  If it has, please leave us a comment in the section below.  Also, please leave any additional thoughts about this issue in the comments.  

Let's keep the conversation going.  

Who knows, your words may be the exact idea someone needs to break through difficulty in their relationship.